Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
