i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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