areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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