Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
