I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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