p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
