And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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