Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
