i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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