he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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