anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
