So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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