I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
