so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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