somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
