Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
