i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My liver just broke up with me...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
