You work out of a Hotel?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
