shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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