how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
