He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
