This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Never underestimate the power of titties
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
