I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
