Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
