he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
