My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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