Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
