Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The beer is more important than you right now.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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