Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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