Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
