Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
