Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
