I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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