my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
