I CAN MOONWALK!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
