I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
