I want to walk on stilts...naked
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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