Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
