you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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