Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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