I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize