i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
