I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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