her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
