Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
