john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
