We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
