I just saw a hot homeless man
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize