Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
