i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Too much gin, very little bucket
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
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