I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
