i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize