bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
