i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I want to be your penis for a week.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
