Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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