Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
This couple is walking their pig around campus
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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