Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You ate ashes out of my bong
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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