I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I need a beard to bite.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
