I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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