4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
No more Irish car bombs ever.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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