You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
