I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
