So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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