did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I need to calm my uterus...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
