she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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