We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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