She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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