i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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