one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize