she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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