Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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