I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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