Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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